It isn't uncommon that I see someone who just isn't sure how to understand the concept of self esteem, with a depth of perception that allows them to apply it to themselves. Nowadays many think of self esteem as simply meaning that someone is confident or at least treats themselves with respect. This isn't necessarily untrue, but it amounts to only a portion of what it takes to actually apply these qualities to oneself in love and life. Self respect and self love are only two of a plethora of characteristics required for one to develop a harmony that blossoms through their self esteem. Now, the question of the day is one that seems to elude most. A dilemma that many choose to believe they have next to no control over when in reality they are simply selling short their stake in the lives that at the end of the day, they have to live. Why are so many people fake? Why are so many people able to turn their backs on their relationships, and the people they formed them with? Why are so many people allowing themselves to be used and abused, or finding themselves unable to recognize the instances where they are investing in someone who has little to no interest in returning the investment.
So why is it that people are able to walk away from us and leave us in the cold? Why do these people think it's okay? How are we attracting this treatment? I recognize that I've now raised more questions than I ask, but bare with me if you seek more than answers; bare with me if you seek solutions. Let's start at the core of the problem, ourselves. Many times we as people have the ability to subconsciously analyze our treatment of self, although this isn't always the case. We recognize the signs we are given and choose to doubt them because our best interest is not the most interesting. We've all been in a place in life where we see someone do or say something that damages us internally, yet we merely carry on and cater to the relationship. May it be a friendship, partnership, or other form of relationship, for a lot of us it's hard to prioritize ourselves over the people we interact with and care for. But this is a pitfall that can cause stagnation in your life if you are unable to recognize when this is your behavior, and if you're willing to endanger yourself in that way then you are displaying signs of low self esteem without a doubt. I understand that it can be hard to recognize the initial signs of mistreatment or the lack of an investment; whether it be emotional or otherwise. I also understand the recognizing this behavior is crucial to any self respecting person, so studying what these signs are became crucial as well. Many people who do not lack the depth of field needed to recognize the signs, will still fall victim to this form of treatment. This is because no matter how well you understand what is poor treatment and what is deserving, you simply cannot see when you are blinded by unrealistic depictions of self, believing that in some way or another you are not worthy of this investment is a surefire way to insure that you will remain blind.
For those who wish to see things from a realistic point of view, you will have to first come to a realistic conclusion about your worth and value as a person. This does not mean to form a material empire, or to indulge in some new career path, or educate yourself on a new trade. These are things of an Earthly making, and self esteem cannot be transformed by anything temporary. We feel a need to over credit people, or to justify their selfish actions by adding weight to their intentions and letting that trump the negative. In self love there is balance, as nobody can love themselves without knowing themselves, and nobody can accept themselves if they reject themselves. The only time when it is possible to have high self esteem and still find ourselves not to be the priority of others is when your self esteem is fabricated by something external. If you're training to be an athlete, then what point is there holding onto a railing and stumbling down the hall when you are surrounded by training equipment? Just like this hypothetical athlete, you are choosing to struggle and barely make it rather than to sweat and work hard, in order to later find yourself in a position where you have worked hard and your progress is tangible. Just like this hypothetical athlete you'd do much better to simply stop using a crutch, and instead use your potential as a living breathing human being. The people who are truly invested in you will exhibit these signs early on and their qualities will have longevity that is evident. You won't need to scramble up a pile of excuses for them, because they will not need it. They will show you the investment they have in you time and time again, and you will not have to question it whatsoever. Do not take verbal action as a sign of investment, instead look at the actions and reactions they choose to take pertaining to you. Let people do the things that come naturally to them, and learn when someone is naturally incompatible with the way you choose to be treated and appreciated. If you notice that people are able to just throw you away and abandon you, or betray you, that should mean to you that this person was never truly invested in you to begin with. They may have physically invested in your life somehow, dropping by or hanging out and whatnot. When you are putting energy into someone, wanting the best for someone, planning success for someone, or other words you are investing in them and their future. But when you invest so many aspects of yourself into another person it becomes attaching. You feel a connection because you've given them your energy and they've made it apart of themselves. This means you will take and accept things they do wrong in order to maintain and keep the best interest for the investment you've made. When you notice someone is easily able to walk away from their investments it's likely they haven't put too many resources into it. Say we are referring to businessmen, someone who invests $20,000 is going to want to make even. Someone who invested $20 and has $10,000 isn't going care about their $20 investment. They will instead prioritize the ways that the other $9,980 can benefit their own selfish goals and desires. Make your investments with someone who would instead save the left over money to help pay a debt or invest in other people's businesses. Make your investments with someone who wants to offer you everything they can, not everything they don't need.
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